Alanna aged fifteen the oldest of three children, had been making good progress at school and at sport. Then her parents began to notice some subtle changes in her behaviour over a period of months. She was refusing to play sport and complaining of constantly feeling sick.
Her parents also noticed that she was spending more and more time in her room on her mobile phone. Despite limiting her time on the phone, she was still managing to spend considerable time on her own in her room either on her phone or her laptop. Some of this was acceptable because school classes and homework was now being carried out online.
Because of the pandemic, interaction with her friends was limited as were many sporting activities. As the weeks and months passed, school reports indicated that little time had been spent on school work. Her parents became concerned for her health and well-being so they managed to access her phone and found some contents on it that alarmed and shocked them.
They took the recommended action and dealt with the issue and confiscated her phone for a period of time. Eventually because of social isolation and little or no sporting activities, they returned her phone and lay down strict guidelines and time limits for using her phone, but it wasn’t long before she was again connecting to the website which she had access to previously.
Because of this a major row ensued with Alanna’s parents, and her phone was confiscated. Later that evening her mother went to her daughter’s room to see if she was okay. Her mother discovered that her daughter had self-harmed, to a level where she had to be hospitalised. Her parents were shocked, heart-broken and devastated, feeling they had let their daughter down in some way.
As they both worked outside the home, working from home was not an option. Her father decided to take unpaid leave to try and source therapy for his daughter. After she came out of hospital her parents explored every avenue they could find, to try and get help to assist their daughter.
When the sports centres opened up, they encouraged their daughter to return to her sporting activities, but she refused because of her embarrassment around her scars. Her parents reinforced over and over again that what Alanna did was not good but that she herself was not a bad person. It was a very difficult time for both of Alanna’s parents.
Alanna’s loved dogs, so her parents had suggested the idea to Allana of buying her a new puppy. She agreed to this and a day later she got a beautiful young Labrador. This helped Alanna tremendously as she now had something to focus her attention on and it also provided an opportunity for her to walk the dog and get much needed exercise.
Sometimes when Alanna walked her dog, one or both parents would join her. This interaction improved the relationship between Alanna and her parents. Gradually they introduced the possibility that Alanna would attend for counselling sessions. They eventually made a number of appointments with a counsellor which Alanna attended.
Once Alanna had started her counselling sessions, she began to talk more openly to her parents about what had been happening for her. Both parents also attended for separate counselling sessions so they could gain more insight in how to support their daughter long-term.
The parents eventually discovered the main source of their daughter’s problems, some of which included being bullied at school and on the sports ground. She was also affected by cyber bullying. Her parents worked hard to help Alanna in building and boosting her self-esteem and confidence.
Many months later their beautiful daughter still has the physical scars but as a person has grown in leaps and bounds in her confidence and in her moral. She now wears her sports gear with pride. She is no longer ashamed of people seeing her scars. She is now enjoying her life, as she should be.
Her parents also noticed that she was spending more and more time in her room on her mobile phone. Despite limiting her time on the phone, she was still managing to spend considerable time on her own in her room either on her phone or her laptop. Some of this was acceptable because school classes and homework was now being carried out online.
Because of the pandemic, interaction with her friends was limited as were many sporting activities. As the weeks and months passed, school reports indicated that little time had been spent on school work. Her parents became concerned for her health and well-being so they managed to access her phone and found some contents on it that alarmed and shocked them.
They took the recommended action and dealt with the issue and confiscated her phone for a period of time. Eventually because of social isolation and little or no sporting activities, they returned her phone and lay down strict guidelines and time limits for using her phone, but it wasn’t long before she was again connecting to the website which she had access to previously.
Because of this a major row ensued with Alanna’s parents, and her phone was confiscated. Later that evening her mother went to her daughter’s room to see if she was okay. Her mother discovered that her daughter had self-harmed, to a level where she had to be hospitalised. Her parents were shocked, heart-broken and devastated, feeling they had let their daughter down in some way.
As they both worked outside the home, working from home was not an option. Her father decided to take unpaid leave to try and source therapy for his daughter. After she came out of hospital her parents explored every avenue they could find, to try and get help to assist their daughter.
When the sports centres opened up, they encouraged their daughter to return to her sporting activities, but she refused because of her embarrassment around her scars. Her parents reinforced over and over again that what Alanna did was not good but that she herself was not a bad person. It was a very difficult time for both of Alanna’s parents.
Alanna’s loved dogs, so her parents had suggested the idea to Allana of buying her a new puppy. She agreed to this and a day later she got a beautiful young Labrador. This helped Alanna tremendously as she now had something to focus her attention on and it also provided an opportunity for her to walk the dog and get much needed exercise.
Sometimes when Alanna walked her dog, one or both parents would join her. This interaction improved the relationship between Alanna and her parents. Gradually they introduced the possibility that Alanna would attend for counselling sessions. They eventually made a number of appointments with a counsellor which Alanna attended.
Once Alanna had started her counselling sessions, she began to talk more openly to her parents about what had been happening for her. Both parents also attended for separate counselling sessions so they could gain more insight in how to support their daughter long-term.
The parents eventually discovered the main source of their daughter’s problems, some of which included being bullied at school and on the sports ground. She was also affected by cyber bullying. Her parents worked hard to help Alanna in building and boosting her self-esteem and confidence.
Many months later their beautiful daughter still has the physical scars but as a person has grown in leaps and bounds in her confidence and in her moral. She now wears her sports gear with pride. She is no longer ashamed of people seeing her scars. She is now enjoying her life, as she should be.
© Patricia Hesnan - (Retd Nurse, Author, Cert in B.C.S. & Stress Management, Cert in Shen Therapy & Dip. Bio Energy, Therapist, Speaker & Course Facilitator, Crania-Sacral Practitioner, Dip. Hol.T.M. Medium, Channeler). * Excerpts from her best-selling book “Be Your Own Therapist.”