Recognising and Dealing with Anger

Anger in itself is a normal reaction which can be beneficial in certain circumstances, such as reacting angrily to being attacked or when you or another person is being attacked. It is a different scenario when a person has difficulty controlling their anger particularly in work situations or personal relationships.

Anger becomes an issue when it is affecting our own health, or having a detrimental effect on our work, our family, friends, and social occasions or affecting those around us, our pastimes, leisure or sporting activities. When it starts to affect us in this way, it may need to be addressed by attending a medical practitioner, or for counselling or anger management.

Healthy anger
Healthy anger is when the level or intensity of the anger is appropriate to the situation or event that is happening.

Unhealthy anger
Unhealthy anger, is when the angry reaction is out of proportion to what the event is, or what another person said or did. Some might say that “This person’s anger was over the top.”

Minimising anger
Some people may try to minimise their outbursts of anger by saying that “it wasn’t that bad, I didn’t mean anything by it, get a grip on yourself, put a lid on it, I was only a bit annoyed, or worse still – I have every right to be as angry as I like, say what I like and do what I like, anytime I like.”

Passive anger

• Passive anger can include controlling tactics such as long periods of intentional silence in the company of others, normally described as passive-aggressive behaviour.
• A person verbally behaving in a hurtful or nasty manner, to get their point across as a reaction to a recent or distant event that has annoyed or angered them.

Expressive anger

• Intimidating or aggressive behaviour can include hitting out or abusing others, either physically, mentally, sexually or emotionally with the intention to hurt or harm.
• Episodes of uncontrollable shouting or rage in the home-place, work-place or public place.
• Breaking or smashing items or property deliberately, with the intent to damage them.
• Driving or operating machinery in an aggressive or intimidating manner.

It may have originated when the person was a child. They may have experienced some hurtful, traumatic, or abusive incident. They may have witnessed

something that instigated anger at the time, which became suppressed for many years and was never dealt with.

It may not have been possible or appropriate to deal with the anger at the time the hurt or incident occurred.

The anger may have been suppressed as a result of a belief system that “It is not safe or not healthy to express anger.”

Research studies have shown that bouts of anger can lead to cardiovascular conditions, heart attack or stroke. Even hours following a temper rage and anger outburst the body may still be susceptible to a stroke or a heart attack. This is more likely to happen with a person who is pre-disposed to a heart condition.

As the intensity or the rage or anger increases and intensifies, the heart rate increases, the adrenal glands start pumping, the respiratory system may become affected as breathing develops into short, sharp gasps. As the body gasps for air and oxygen, hyperventilation may be experienced by the person displaying the anger.

Squeezing down on an emotion such as anger and constant tightening in the area of the solar plexus will have a knock-on effect on every muscle, organs, gland and cell in the body via the fascia.

• Learn how to communicate angry feelings in an assertive manner rather than aggressively is important.
• Start each sentence with the words; “I feel” rather than the words; “You did, You said.” “You” means you are implying that someone else has the power to affect you.
• Expressing how you feel also helps to activate and clear the throat chakra.
• It is healthy to express how you feel about something someone says or does that is not acceptable to you.
• Remember that expressing your anger doesn’t mean dumping it on someone else.
• Try not to engage in the blame game, as “it’s your fault, you made me angry.”

Unresolved anger will not affect anyone but yourself.

The emotion of anger, anxiety and fear is held in the area of the solar plexus. The feelings are normal but when feelings are not expressed and dealt with, over a period of time it can have an unhealthy effect on the physical, emotional and mental health and well-being of a person. The organs in the corresponding area with this chakra can be affected such as the liver, pancreas, stomach, kidneys and so on.

Tight or tense muscles can restrict blood supply and energy flow, starving the body of much needed oxygen for this area of the body. Blocking this life-force energy flow can be a factor in illness.

A person can trigger an angry reaction in another person, but they cannot cause it. The reaction of another person is based on their past and everything that has happened to them up to this moment in time. All of this has created the person they are today.

You are responsible for everything you say or do, but you are not responsible for how someone else reacts to what you say or do.

The body could be compared to a refuse bin. This bin could be stuffed to capacity with a mixture of life experiences; unresolved and suppressed emotional issues, hurts, distressing memories, traumas and pain.

When the bin overflows, it doesn’t really matter what caused the overflow. It could be a seemingly simple remark or action that triggers the over-flow. Some people might say “It was an over-the-top reaction”. Others might describe the angry reaction by saying “They blew their top.”

This is where energy therapy has shown to be beneficial by helping to decrease the intensity of pent-up emotions such as anger. This pain-free, non-invasive therapy can be applied to the solar plexus area, an area related to anger, anxiety and fear and in turn may be effective for helping the recovery of conditions affecting the organs, glands and muscles in the same area of the body.

Tips on how to dissipate anger on a regular basis

Express how you feel, you are entitled to your feelings. For example, say “I feel annoyed, I feel hurt, I fee angry. Once you say “I feel” the chakra associated with that particular emotion or feeling automatically starts to swirl and clear.

Engage in constructive physical activities as a way of dealing with anger, such as active sports, canoeing, even something physical like chopping timber can help with reducing the intensity of anger.

Dealing with anger in a healthy, constructive manner:

• Acknowledge that you feel angry
• What is beneath the anger, is it fear, or hurt?
• Ask yourself if your anger is simply a mild irritation or do you feel genuinely angry?
• Is a memory of some injustice being triggered, possibly from early childhood, where you felt you were unable to deal or cope with it at the time?
• Do you feel that if you give in to the feeling of anger, it can be frightening, especially if you are the type of person who feels the need to keep a grip on yourself, and stay in control?
• Remember other people cannot make you angry. You may react angrily to your interpretation of the significance of someone else’s behaviour.

If you recognise or feel that any of this information might be of relevance to you, then in the interest of loved ones, family and friends to contemplate counselling, anger management, or complementary therapy such as bio energy healing therapy.